On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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