How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize