I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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