Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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