my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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