i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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