I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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