I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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