oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
