did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
