She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
