He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
