I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
