i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
