At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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