Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
