toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
