Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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