The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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