I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
