A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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