Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
