Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
