my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
