Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
