I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
