I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize