whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
