guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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