About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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