...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it because I queefed?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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