Who did Billy Mays play for?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize