my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize