I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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