You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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