Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
