Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
