My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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