hotel room ftw
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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