i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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