There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have aggressive nipples.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize