ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
