just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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