when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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