Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
