Just cropdusted the office
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
