Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
now i know why i became what i already was.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
