I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
