Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
