so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She even gives head with a lisp.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
