I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize