the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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