We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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