The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
