Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
