i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
